Happy Birthday Cass!

Cass & Dottie 2012

Today is my son's Birthday.

I am truly a very proud mother. I think every parent hopes that their child will grow up and become a valued member of society. I got that! I have a son that opens doors for elders, is considerate of others, has compassion for animals, treats people with respect. He can listen and give advice, he can fix almost anything, he is so smart and intelligent, wise beyond his years. He is positive and bright, and it seems no matter how bad life can be, Cass always has to look at it "on the bright side"...I love that.

Pretty cute huh?

I do not know how it happened but I am one of the lucky parents that can say I did something right in this lifetime by raising a really great individual. The stories of Cass are endless, I think I will do a little photo essay. (Blackmail time...)

hide and seek

 Learning to eat

the famous Dinosaur costume!

love the snow!

He was heavy into wizard before they were popular!

Check out the boots!

He loved that toy!

Bullfrogs and the Ninja turtles! Endless!

This was a fun day! The need for speed!

Then he got his own car...he slept in it for a few nights...this one was short lived, he totalled it going to work as a camp counselor at the YMCA. He was fine after a short stay at Boston Children's hospital.

Always the funny man. A wonderful sense of humor.

Texas, boot camp, I was not happy. He is exhausted.

Playing on some war junk when he was overseas.

His main man, Jack.

Happy Birthday Cass, you have allowed me to have some of the best years of my life. I wish you all the best in the years to come. I am so proud of you and all you have done in your short number of years. Keep being and doing all that your are. Dream and follow your dream. I love you son, thank you and happy birthday!

My mother....

August 13 is my mother's birthday. I really think she was born on Friday the 13th...or that was what she always told us when we were growing up. She had such a weird sense of humor.

Thanksgiving 1968 I am 6 and my brother is 9. My mother is beautiful.

I have very fond memories of my mother.   She worked nights as a nurse at Emerson Hospital in the labor and delivery floor. She was one lucky lady getting to hold all those babies.....I have her nursing ring, something I treasure. Someday I hope to be an RN just like her. I know that will make her happy.

My mother and father built the house that we all grew up in. It was a small ranch that worked just fine. My sister and I shared a room, which was hard but I think we did OK. ( we divided the room in half with tape .....) My older brother got too have his own room...this made me so jealous!

She is so young looking! I think I was 5 in this photo, we always added a extra "good luck" candle/

The girls: me, Micheala, my sister Joanne and mom in the back.

Cass and grandma getting ready to sail a ship in Rockport, Massachusetts.

Happy birthday mom....Thank you for all you did. I miss you.

Life...

We found this poster while at the south park event.
I just love it!

Playing like a child

Seems bad days can be totally erased with a trip to the yogurt place and a run over to the playground. No shoes required. All you need is to be in the company of Natalie Grace, she will giggle, talk, sing, and dance her way into making you forget all about any problems you may have. The important stuff, as she reminds me in her sweet way, is just to laugh and take a ride on the slide.......

....and do not forget to clap your hands...
Happy happy joy joy.......thank you little Natalie. 

Tribute to my Brother

Today is my brother’s birthday.

I remember all the things we got into together growing up. I remember playing softball in the field, going swimming in our above ground pool; I remember going sledding with you across the road when there was a great big field there instead of houses. I remember going down to the sandpit to try our hand at skiing with a set of dad’s old ski’s….and then wiping out and spraining my ankle so bad I couldn’t walk. You were so upset you cried and dragged me all the way home, worried about me. I remember you babysitting my son and reading him books and enjoying just doing childlike things with him, because you were so childlike. Remember Gilligan’s island? You would watch it with Cass, enjoying watching it for the 100th time.I remember going to Sudbury ski program with you and thinking you could never learn how to stay up on skis, but you gave it a good try. Walden Pond…..swim lessons, mom was so good sending us on so many different things. Though now as an adult I think she just may have spent the money on these lessons to get us out of the house! I remember Mr. Gorman taking you under his wing and trying to get the other kids to stop bullying you. I remember the fights I would get into on the bus, trying to stop those teenagers in the neighborhood from making fun of you and picking on you. So many times…..

And so the story goes...... 

My brother was not mainstream, he had issues; all this before “special education” and the new anti bullying crusade was started. He was placed into the main flow of kids and he was just the type that they would single out and torment. When I entered Peter Noyes school I wanted to be separated from him….I rejected him and pretended I wasn’t related to him. I was a normal teenage girl that wanted to have friends….When he attended Minuteman Technical High School instead of our local town high school I was so happy…I could finally be unattached to the legend of Joe…How I look back now and regret my actions and wish I could change my behavior. But I do realize I was just a kid…..

He was bullied from schoolmates all the way into adult hood where he worked at a lumber company. Adults were no different from the kids at school; people took advantage of his good nature and lack of street smart. If he was born in a different era I am sure it would be a different life for him with more protection available.

While working at Emerson Hospital, (the area community hospital, where we were born at and my mother was an L&D nurse for 24 years) one day I was floated up the psych floor, where I noticed that one of the boys that bullied my brother was residing for a severe psych issue. My thought was…bygones, past, it is all over, I am a professional and I do not hold grudges. My brother had passed away the prior year and the hurt was still very real. Sometime during the day the man came up to me and stated he remembered me and just wanted to say how sorry he was about my brother and how he wished he could take all the bullying and assaults he tormented my brother with for so many years back. He was living with guilt. We all had that.

He wasn’t born that way, my brother, he was really ill when he was an 5 or 6. I think mom told me once or twice he had German measles which developed into encephalopathy. This sort of made his brain into a sponge and did some things to him that could not be reversed. He was developmentally behind all of his life.   Having a child myself I can now fully understand how my mom and dad felt watching while their son was so ill. My son too, almost died in infancy, it is heartbreaking…..I can only imagine my dad and mom and the heartbreak they must have lived through.

My father and Cass planting a Garden, while my mom and Joe
supervised!

He was a favorite to my Nana and my ma. He did lots for them around their houses. He also loved animals, we had two dogs growing up, Cookie and Sookie. Cookie liked to bring us home things from my Grandmothers barn…dead cats, squirrels, etc. He hunted down by the brook we had on our property, one day he was shot by a neighbor or just some jerk that may have thought our dog was a deer or something. I found Cookie, but my brother Joe had to bury him, I was with him and as my brother dug the hole for our dog, he cried like a baby. He loved that dog so much. To this day I feel his pain in my heart and my eyes still tear up.

Graduation from Minuteman Technical High
School

My brother died some 20 plus years ago, his death was unnecessary. He was just a few years older than me. I do wonder all the time how he would be as an older man. I wonder a lot about why he is gone.

Looking back, here under my Bodhi tree, I can truly say that I learned so much from my brother. I learned feelings and emotions count, I learned not to pick on others and accept differences. I learned that life can be one great big circle, what you put out can and does come back to you. I learned that the people in our lives are important and should be treasured…they may not be here tomorrow.

My tribute to my brother is I hope he is up in heaven, eating hard salami and driving his red truck. I hope he and my mom are playing bingo and beating the pants off everyone. I hope he is happy and enjoying good faithful friends and laughing with people. I hope he is swimming and catching frogs and our dog cookie is by his side. I hope he found love. 

Joesph Peter you were an outstanding older brother, I thank you for the good times and pleasant memories, the bad times with the lesson learned, and the laughs....Still today I find myself laughing when I hear some small child telling a sibling..."I'm telling mom!"

I miss you brother.

Friday Fragments

Thanks to Mrs. 4444 for hosting this meme every Friday!

Friday Fragments

Wow..what a week.....

Sunday working a long 12 hour shift at the Ranch

Monday working a long day at my second job in La Mesa

Tuesday working another long day at second job in La Mesa

Wednesday super duper long 12 hour day at the Ranch

Thursday super long day at La Mesa job

Friday....a long, but pleasant day at Ranch, we took everyone out for a picnic by the ocean and the had a meeting of our new book club, I got to work with my amazing friend Tori and we laughed so much. And it was pay day.....ahhhhh

In between all the madness of working so many hours I took my wonderful dogs to the dog park for some playtime....they really make me laugh.

When I was driving home I found this crazy bar sign that also made me giggle....

I had a long hard week but tomorrow I have the whole day off to relax and recharge, for next week looks like more of the same.....oh well at least I have a job and now I have money in the bank to pay for fall tuition and books. So it is all good!

I am feeling organized! Well sort of.

Exciting day! 


No I am not talking about the trip with Bella to the vet for her shots..
I bought a new desk! It is so cool, I just love it. I found it on Craigslist, it was well within my budget, located 2.5 miles from my home and the guy offer to bring it to my house for free! Too sweet! 


So lots of going through paperwork and junk, lots of weeding out the old and finding things I thought I had lost....Just a treasure hunt. So now my drawers are all filled and organized and for some odd reason I feel better......Why? 

I now have flowers on it and a pretty pencil holder. I plan on covering the chair with a colorful fabric soon.
(oh yeah..got a matching chair with it to!)  It has that rustic feel to it, and underneath it is stamped: "Made it Mexico"

I have no idea why I am so happy about my new find...but I am and the feeling of being more organized and able to find things makes me happy. I am good with that!

Friends...

So I have some really great friends, I feel I am blessed. I don't have lots of time to do things with them but we still seem to stay in each others lives. Over the next few weeks I have a list of some people that need a bit of attention....via phone calls or Skype. 
I will be calling....

Regina, Linda, myself, Tori

I also work with a group of really great girls, and 1 amazing guy. They all work so hard for their families and though not one of us is rich in money, they are all rich in in more important areas...themselves. I care very deeply for them all and they, just by being themselves have made my life richer. I thank you all for all you do, everyday. 

Jorge with Dottie

You are all so amazing! The work we do is hard, the days/nights are really long, but we do it and then we laugh with each other. I have work in places where backstabbing gossip is nonstop, not with you guys! You are all so special to me. Thank you.


love, peace and hugs
Jennifer

Oh to turn 100 years old

My Friend Dottie

       I have known Dorothy Doyle for about 3 years, though I don’t call her Dorothy, to me she is Dottie. I am her caregiver, but sometimes I don’t really see us in that way. Instead I see her as my friend, someone who makes me smile, laugh, cry and create frustration in my life. The later doesn’t happen very much, only when she is doing something that I feel is not safe for her wellbeing. She will just keep doing it anyways so it doesn’t really matter if I get upset or not.

     She turns 100 this month, which is kind of funny because I am always saying she lies about her age. We have been very excited as birthday approaches, for it is a milestone for her, and me, for I have never known anyone to reach this magic age. We spend many hours together talking and listening to each other. I cherish this time, not because I think Dottie will be going anywhere soon, but because the conversations have depth and substance. I hear about what she has witnessed and been a part of in her life and I am left in awe.  In an age where all is racing forward at the speed of sound, my conversations with Dottie are relaxed and meaningful.

      Take a minute and reflect on some of the things she has witnessed in this world: the party line to the cell phone, the radio to TV, records to DVD’s, she went from books to reading a kindle! She has raised an amazing family, moved from one side of the US to the other, spent time in other countries; so much to see and do and she did it. She taught others how to read, went to college, where the men had to vote to allow her into the lab. She told me once she wanted to be a nurse, and I think she would have been a great one, even better if she was a nursing supervisor. (Oh, the thought pains me!)

       When I look at Dottie I see myself in a bit of her, the independence, the strong will, (which can be good and bad) and the ability to roll with the changes. “Get up and go about your business” she says, don’t sweat the small stuff.  This is great wisdom for all.

       I wish Dottie the happiest of days; I wish her health and good times to continue. She is my dear friend and I love her like a sister. Keep rolling Dottie, tell it like it is and keep moving and stop lying about your age!

Dottie walks twice a day, eat lots of veggies, is very social, reads books and plays a wicked game of scrabble. Yes...and that was her riding a bike on her birthday! Way to go Dottie!

And so the madness ends...

Time to party! I have completed what was surely the hardest class of my life...microbiology! That being said, it was not the material that sent me for a loop, but the professor. She was unreal! I loved learning about the organisms that are all around us, on us and inside us. I loved learning how to grow them and then kill them. It was a really good time and I loved the information that I basically taught myself. But the classroom was stressful, unorganized, and insane, all of which it didn't have to be.....But it is over and now I can relax and enjoy some freedom from school for 10 weeks! I will be taking on another part time job, but the beach does deserve  to have my presence for a few days......
Lastly, I would like to thank everyone who has listened to me complain and dealt with my moodiness this past 16 weeks. I am so sorry for the stress...its over and I am back, as happy and positive as ever!

A really good read.

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/

Overwhelmed

Ever feel like you have so much to do you don't know where to start?

3 exams to study for
2 micro projects
1 lab practical
and a partridge in a pear tree.....

Oh well, it too shall end.

 And a big applause going out to my niece Micheala for setting her mom, my sister, up with Skype! She is the best, now we can talk live with video chats...I was in tears the first time seeing my beloved family on the wonderful east coast!
Sign up and text me if your interested in chatting and I'll send you my "handle"
It is way better than a phone call! and it is free!

Enough for now.

Not....I or ME

Is it possible to write a post without having the subject center around oneself? Mmmm.....

In this age of over sharing I have begun to wonder if we are now living in an age of the "I/me" generation.
Though I admit, I love hearing and reading about others dreams and accomplishment and I love to talk/write about mine....But it seems to me that we are getting away from the real world even more and more. At times I see things on the Internet that people write and I wonder if they would say the same things face to face without a computer as their shield. Do others see this behavior?

This whole blog posting stems from a review I just read on the Internet....wow, it was harsh. Are we becoming numb to others pain and feelings? I think cyber bulling is real and what we do on the Internet is just a piece of what we can be in the real world, if you can pick on someone anonymously than what stops you in the real world from showing your true colors?

Any thoughts? Do you write things on the Internet that you wouldn't state in the "real" world? Do you use Facebook/twitter to pump yourself up or do you use it as a tool to see what the issue's are in the world? Try  reading your comments on Facebook/or any social site and see how many times you use the words"I/me". Is this the new generation? Narcissistic?

Just "me" thinking.....

Bucket List

My friend Tori gave me this great idea. I think it is so great that I have decided to put it out there on my blog and give it some thought. I'd like to hear what my friends might think are some of their ideas for things they may want to accomplish within a given time period.
The time period would be short: the month of April.
The idea would be 5 items that I would like to do within the month.
They are as follows:
Write a letter to a old friend.
Make time to call an old friend.
Clean out my desk and refinish my new one and get it into working order.
hike Iron Mountain again.
Go to the beach and read something other than microbiology for 3 hours.
Seems to me that I could do these things, but with school going full stream time is so limited. But after viewing my friend Tori's long list, I think this short one may be possible. It all sounds like good food for the soul.
Have a great day and think about your own "Bucket List"

Jennifer